Dr. Troy Fenlason

Grief is a significant part of life and should not be avoided, although we often try. Wherever there is a sense of loss or pain there is a response of grief. We can lose a loved one, a pet, a dream, an opportunity, a possession, a physical ability, our innocence, or even our sense of peace… and the natural response is grief.  Loss is everywhere. Every choice that we make, or that is made for us, closes the door to some other possibility which becomes a loss. However, we tend to avoid grief.  The driving force behind many addictions or unhealthy behaviors is an attempt to avoid grief. But one might ask, “Why should we embrace the pain and loss of our lives? Grief is centered on loss and pain but through it comes the gift of kindness and compassion. Grief connects our loss to our joy and deepens it. Grieving is loving. Grief should not be an isolating experience because it is also a profound place to find connection with others. However, since most of us avoid grief, we leave those who cannot avoid it to also feel isolated in their grief. It is good to recognize that we are a community of grievers who need to more fully embrace our grief to find deeper joy and deeper connection.